404 - File Not Found - FilmFocus.Co.UK

FADE IN:

              EXT. NOTHINGNESS - TIME UNKNOWN

      It's a cold, cold day in Nothingness. OFFICER NOTHING goes about his business of doing nothing as though he'd done nothing for a thousand years. His partner and friend, OFFICER NONEXISTANT joins him. On the non-existant floor in front of them is a non-existant body with nothing on.

              
                OFFICER NOTHING 

                Let's see here... Unclassifiable age, unclassifiable height - this guy was a model nothing... 
              
                OFFICER NONEXISTANT 

                Yeah, but what does that really tell you? He's clearly a something freak.
              
                OFFICER NOTHING 

                Very true. (beat) Just look at his expressionless face, it betrays the truth. This guy was looking for something...
              
                OFFICER NONEXISTANT 

                (Intrigued)
              
                But what? 
              
                OFFICER NOTHING 

                According to the notes he was searching for something on a site called FilmFocus.Co.UK.
              
                OFFICER NONEXISTANT 

                Not--
              
                OFFICER NOTHING 

                Yes. The case we solved the other non-week. If he'd had any sense he'd have realised that piece of something didn't exist anymore or never existed in the first place. 
              
                OFFICER NONEXISTANT

                Poor bastard. He shoulda gone back to the main site and read that notice-of-nothing we put up. A life wasted, and for what?
              
                OFFICER NOTHING 

                Nothing, Officer Nonexistant... Nothing at all...

Music swells as the friends walk away from nothingness with invisible tears in the corners of their eyes. It's an emotional sight...

FADE OUT.

"And what, prey tell, is the five-point-palm exploding-heart technique?"