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The Ezekiel 25:17 Defense
The game's almost over; you're fifty points down and losing is gonna cost you the championship. Simple, sir... Break out The Bible.
Stop dead in front of the guy with the ball and give it to him straight from The Man. "There's this passage I got memorised..."
Your oponent will be so mesmorised he'll give you his Big Kahuna Burger as well as the ball. |
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The Incredible Freeze
The seconds are counting away - three... two... you've got the ball but you're the other side of the court. Whaddya do?
Don't bother taking a lucky shot from across the court - just freeze your way to the otherside.
Sure, it might not be in the NBA rulebook, but you're a superhero, the crowd'll go wild for the spectacle. |
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The Glass Man
Old leg injury playing up? Just plain too lazy to get up off your fat *ss and play the game of games?
Simply scour accident reports for that one guy who's survived multiple catastrophes and hire him to assume your identity.
Time consuming, sure, but once done you'll have plenty of time to sell Limited Edition comic-book art. |
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From a galaxy far, far away...
Now George might have a thing or two to say about it, but as the baddest motherf*ck*r in the galaxy I just gotta pass this tip on.
Easiest way to block an unwanted slam-dunk? Flip the switch on that lightsabre you're carrying on your utility belt and cut that opponent in two. This party's yours... |
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Shaftin' Time
You gotta work on your pre-game attitude.
Forget that old tracksuit, walk onto court in a leather coat and shades and act like you own the place. When everyone stops to admire your bling, survey the room and say, "Man, this is some repugnant sh*t."
Watch as your opponents fall to your cool. |
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